Driving through the country side with the wind blowing in her hair, Irish music in the background, her thoughts far away. She could not erase the news the doctor had given her that morning, the results were positive and she had breast cancer. Dr. Wright said it was at an early stage and radiation would kill it but she had to start immediately. Kathy had asked for a day to think about and become accustomed to the news. None of her family or friends had been told of any of this but she knew that would have to change soon as it was recommended to have a support system. She was on her way to her parents' house in the country, an impromptu visit as she did not want to alarm them before she got there.
Over the phone the conversations with her siblings resulted in many falling tears as each sibling was told in descending order of age. As the day drew to a close, Anne Marie the eldest, called with the news that all the family would be arriving on Friday evening as they all felt it would be important to be there together, besides they all wanted to anyway. Kathy felt so overcome with emotions that she rushed to her room and cried for the next few hours, she felt the combined union of sadness and joy. Sadness that she had this awful disease and joy that her family were so wonderful and she knew that this is what she truly wanted, the time to be with her family. Her mother came to the bedroom a short while later and lay down beside her daughter, holding her as she lay sleeping. Her father, Peter, looked in on them both as he was getting ready for bed and covered them with a soft blanket and turned off the lights.
Over the next few months Kathy found she was never alone when she did not want to be, there was always someone around at the right time. Her parents came and stayed at her home a few evenings a week and her sister Anne Marie came every second weekend. The boys called in as often as they could too, dropping by to take her out to dinner, or go grocery shopping with her. She had never really spent much time with her sister-in-law, but during the course of her treatment Mary would drop by, even though she lived a couple of hours away in Arlington. She always brought some goodies with her from the bakery and of course the twins as well. Kathy adored the twins and their joyful reverie was a grateful diversion from the seriousness of her situation.
Time passed and finally the day came when the doctor assured her the treatment had been a success and she would not have to have another check up for six months. To celebrate, she decided she would arrange a family reunion at a simple resort outside of Washington DC that she had been reading about. There had been an opening during Thanksgiving and after making the arrangements she told her family that the reunion was on, a little later than expected, but on all the same. She felt that this was going to be her thanksgiving present to her family for all their tender loving care that they had been showering her with for the previous months. Being the family that they were there was nothing but positive acknowledgment and they were all looking forward to the event. At work Kathy hired a caterer to have a thank you party for all the office members. After all these were her second family and she loved them too.
The above story is a testament to the importance of having support from family and friends during serious medical illnesses and I know when my own father went in for surgery and cancer treatment relatives from far and wide offered their assistance and visited regularly. My father was so funny that when his brother offered to paint the garage doors he did not know what to say or do.
Sometimes it is hard for us to accept and appreciate offerings of love no matter the presentation they arrive in and it takes no small effort to say 'thank you', but to be sure one may feel confident that you are loved even when it was never said through the years. This brings to mind the importance to reinforce the value of love and appreciation.
One important thing to remember with cancer treatment is the invaluable efforts of support that cancer organisations give to all of us and it is truly beneficial to regularly visit their websites and offer your support too. This is not an advertisement for anyone but their advertising support depends on the visits they receive and the good thing is they are only a click away too. God bless.